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Posts Tagged ‘Lord’

Does anyone remember the old song “It’s me, Oh Lord standing in the need of prayer”?  I remember some old cassette tapes that I used to listen to had this song on it… “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer.  Not my brother, not my sister but it’s me oh Lord standing in the need of prayer.”  I guess that is where I am today.

Things just aren’t going my way recently.  I suppose I am on the down side to the cycles of Christian growth.  It is in these times that God works in us to make and mold us into the people he wants us to be, but *whining* why does it have to be so hard!?

Financially things are just out of control and there is a part of me that worries I will run out of money before this fast is over.  I have left that in God’s hands, if in fact we run out of funds to buy produce then I have to just trust that is the way God wants it to be.  So my disclaimer to my readers, I am sorry if I am unable to continue the juice fast until the whole 40 days.  If that happens, do know I am fully content with the outcome thus far, and I will eat vegan/raw until the 40 days are up.  I have buckets of beans and rice at home and I refuse to worry myself sick if I am unable to buy enough produce to finish.  I have enough stress right now.

Then my job.  This has been the subject of a few blogs recently, I don’t know what that means but I don’t feel it can be good.  I am over the top stressed.  I work in a very small doctors office, with two other coworkers.  We have all we need, a medical assistant, front desk and biller, but our front desk gave two weeks notice and surprise surprise the doctor has done nothing since then.  Well, to be fair it’s not nothing, but there has been zero progress on getting a replacement person.  His worries are only the things that really affect him, rather than listening to the fears and worries of his two remaining employees.  I actually took time to sit down and talk to him over a week ago and still nothing has changed.  At this point I am covering two jobs, plus doing a whole new set of duties that could really mess someone up if I forget a step or something.  There has been no choice on a person to replace our front desk, and all the people that he is talking to need to give two weeks notice wherever they are.  So unless he makes a choice this week we are looking at probably three weeks of me doing this.

I feel the weight of my little world right now.  So it’s me in need of some prayer, if you find yourself talking to The Big Guy (aka God) please mention my needs and if nothing else pray for the peace that passes ALL understanding to fall into my heart and life.

Hugs

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Yesterday was a particularly hard day, it seems after I wrote my blog yesterday I was wearing a bull’s eye on my back, prime target for the enemy to prove just how human I really am.  I am sorry to say, it worked… I failed.  In my pain after the failure I opened my Bible.  Often times God does reveal to me a verse that speaks to me.  I wasn’t really prepared for what I read though.  2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Thud.  That was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.  I mean I was in the perfect place to receive this verse.  Broken hearted from failing to listen, AGAIN, and yet God was telling me that His strength was made perfect in my weakness.

I don’t claim to have all the answers.  I am a sinful human just like everyone else.  I make mistakes and boy do they hurt sometimes.  But hearing God tell me that His strength is there for me when I am weak, it was all I needed to hear.  Did it solve my problems? No.  Was the issue over and forgotten? No.  What did happen was that peace that passes ALL understanding came to me and I felt “better” not perfect but better.  He removed the unbearable weight I felt, He wiped my tears.  Does He ever do that for you?  I’m a pretty emotional girl and tears sometimes come a bit more freely than I wish them to, but when I open God’s word and read it and ask Him to help me in a situation, I find that I can’t cry anymore.  He actually takes the tears from me.

The issues I caused are not resolved and done, I caused damage that only God can heal.  I have asked Him to heal those things and I feel like He said he would.  He has done some amazing healing in my life, I can’t deny God is there.  Today I brought two books with me to work, my Bible and a book called The Excellent Wife.  I pray they both encourage me and help me become better at what I fail at so much.

 

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